Still not sure if I should be an American Gladiator when I grow up.

-Already in pique physical condition. 
-Logical career step after winning Olympic bronze medal in Tug O War. 
-Putting years of giant Q-Tip fight training to good use. 
-Casual friday leotards. 
-Get to bully nerds on national television/fight for my country. 
-Follow in the footsteps of my father: Razer McLaserbeam.

-Swore never to fire a tennis ball cannon again. 
-Rendered sterile in final stage of training program. 
-Legs and back workout moved to to Tuesdays and Thursdays due to shooting schedule. 
-Occasionally summoned to defend Earth Realm. 
-Constantly overshadowed by accomplishments of my father: Razer McLaserbeam. 
-I'm in my late 20's and this show has been cancelled for years.